Just because

What could be more evil than hate?
The green monster's eyes of jealousy await,
Rage and burn with pure distaste,
Bind and hold without escape.

Even if you try
Even if you cry
Nothing will ever stay alive.
As the powers of envy lock you inside,

you will wither,
you will die.

/** found this old, old, poem from my livejournal. */

one-sided

i think of you and i smile,
during the cold and lonely weekends,
if you can see how much my heart bursts
in anticipation of something thoughtfully surprising
like a visit out of the blue
or a couple of flowers from you
is enough to set a beam of summer sun
into the cold solitary days
but as I listen to sister hazel on repeat
all i could think was how alone i was
when my heart cries out for you
you just let me be
when i long for you in the dark nights
i just wish for a dream that you're there
and when i go off just to be within your radius,
you never knew.
sometimes i just watch over you,
while you do your own thing
and all i want cannot be.
all i have isn't mine
and all my dreams are never true.
what's a love if it's not for two?
when whom i wish doesn't live up to par
so i just keep loving you from afar.
when you don't have to hear my heart break
as I nurse my battered beaten heart that aches
in tremendous waves.
and so i think of you again.
with half a smile and half eyes full of tears
i keep waiting for you.
wishing as the song writes
where you overwhelm me,
as you whisper in my ear you're here
and sneak into my room.
I'll keep dreaming...
I'll keep dreaming of you...

/* one sided love is hard to bear, while you already poured everything into one person, and when they don't love you back, how sad it is, but you keep trying anyway, trying until you can't try anymore... crying until all the pain runs outs and believing until there's nothing to believe. */